[A/N: Sorry about the direct quotations and distracting page numbers. MLA and all.]
My darling Becky,
The word around town is that Tom Sawyer has “cottoned onto” you. So, I have taken it as my solemn duty to warn you about that miserable hill-billy. He’s a slacker, a trickster and a dirty ragamuffin. He’s always playing hooky and fiddling around. He constantly tricks aunt with “‘My! Look behind you…!’”(2). She falls for this one every time, because she is a simple-goodhearted soul, akin to his devilish workings. He even had the nerve to challenge me to a duel! He told me “‘I can lick you!”(6) and called me a “‘coward and a pup…’(7) for not rising to the uncivilized challenge. As you can see, he is most definitely not above name-calling. When his aunt sets him to good-old-fashioned hard work, he finds some way to slack off. He manages to trick poor little Ben (aka the Missouri Steamer) and other young boys into doing all of the work for him. While he “sat on a barrel in the shade, dangled his legs, munched his apple, and”(14) conned other young bucks, the ones who had paid him did all the work. He even got a treat for his laziness(16)!
So, now that you have gotten a better look at his character, how do you like Tom now? If you need a shoulder to cry on, I am always here.
The Model Boy of St. Petersburg
(P.S. Tom already has a girl in his life, the conniving cheater!)
(P.P.S. Her name is Amy Lawrence.)